


In which insults get interesting

by slightly_oblivvyous



Series: Newmann in 1000 Words or Less [9]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: (as in a very good person who deserves so much wine for this), (not a literal saint), Affectionate Insults, Insults, M/M, Tendo is a saint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2748755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightly_oblivvyous/pseuds/slightly_oblivvyous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Imagine Newt and Hermann doing terrible impressions of each other. Now imagine that mock-fest ends in a shag."</p><p>Insulting party impressions get a little... impassioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which insults get interesting

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired largely by [this post](http://missanthropicprinciple.tumblr.com/post/104830361428/slightly-oblivvyous-missanthropicprinciple).

"Hang on, hang on, listen to this." Newt cleared his throat. When the room quieted, he continued in an awful English accent, "I’m Hermann Gottlieb, and I believe mathematics can transcend the planes of reality and good fashion."

Hermann cast him a sidelong glare. “Yes, well. I’m Newton Geiszler and I have no qualms permanently inking our likely demise all over my skin.”

"All over, huh?" Tendo asked with a smirk.

"Wouldn’t you like to know?" Newt returned an exaggerated wink, earning a laugh from the other party-goers.

Tendo elbowed Newt in the side. “Right, I’m Newton Geiszler and I’m the biggest damn tease in K-Sci.”

"Nah, have you seen Hermann?" Newt grinned. "I’m Hermann Gottlieb and I keep my body hidden under 17 layers so no one can see how hot I am."

Hermann scowled. “I’m Newton Geiszler and I keep my personality hidden under a rockstar facade because I’m afraid people won’t respect my considerable intelligence.”

"Yeah? Well I’m Hermann Gottlieb and I act like a crotchety old professor because  _I’m_ afraid people might realize I’m actually a likable geek!”

The drunken laughter around them had begun to take on an uncomfortable edge. Something seemed to click in Tendo’s mind, and he stood and waved expansively about the room. “Alright everyone, out! Why don’t we take this to LOCCENT, huh? More space, better sound system…”

"But Tendo," Mako protested quietly. "These are your quarters."

Tendo threw a glance towards the two K-Scientists and said hurriedly, “Those two can have it; lord knows they need it. Grab the beer, we’re taking this party downstairs!”

Meanwhile, Hermann and Newt continued advancing on each other, unabated.

"I’m Newton Geiszler and I refuse to use my title lest people remember how astoundingly brilliant I really am."

"I’m Hermann Gottlieb and I wear a dumb haircut so no one ever thinks about putting their hands in it!"

"I’m Newton Geiszler and I make the most  _beautiful_  noises when I forget how to spea— mmf!”

When the kiss broke, Newt spoke again, his voice rough. “I’m Hermann Gottlieb and I need to be naked like 10 minutes ago.”

"I’m Newton Geiszler…" Hermann said a bit breathlessly, fumbling with the fastening on his pants. "… and I rather agree."


End file.
